{"product_id":"buy-a-man-eat-fish-womens-tee-absurdist-confucius-parody","title":"Buy A Man Eat Fish Women's Tee - Absurdist Confucius Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eBuy a man eat fish, he day. Teach fish man to a lifetime. The Confucius proverb you didn't know you needed — broken-English absurdism in soft cotton form. The funny scrambled words women's t-shirt for the chronically online, the meme-fluent, the literal-thinkers, and anyone who appreciates a perfectly chaotic word salad. Soft Fruit of the Loom women's cut, screen-printed in the USA with water-based inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy this Buy A Man Eat Fish tee wins:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft Fruit of the Loom women's cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e- Contoured side-seamed fitted feminine cut\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e- Pre-shrunk, breathable, daily-wear comfortable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e- Screen-printed in the USA — no peeling, no cracking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e- Runs slightly small — size up one for relaxed fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing: Runs small. Size up one for an everyday relaxed fit. Chest (inches): S 32, M 34, L 36, XL 40, 2XL 44. Full chart at \/pages\/size-guide.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCare: Machine wash cold, tumble dry low, do not iron the graphic, no bleach.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift it to: the friend who quotes \"Drake \u0026amp; Josh\" daily, the absurdist humor enthusiast, the bestie with the perfect deadpan, the fishing-pun-tolerant girlfriend, the chronically-online cousin, the broken-English-meme expert. A perfect absurdist humor tee, viral meme shirt, scrambled words funny gift, or Confucius parody tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping \u0026amp; returns: Printed-on-demand, shipped in 3–7 business days. Free US shipping on orders over $75. 30-day exchanges at \/pages\/returns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFAQ\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eQ: Is this supposed to make sense? A: Absolutely not. That's the joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eQ: Women's fit? A: Yes — fitted women's cut, runs small. Size up one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eQ: Returns? A: 30-day exchanges.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBrowse more women's funny tees, absurdist humor shirts, and the women's collection at \/collections\/for-our-fine-ladies. Pair with Horrors Persist tee or I Eated Soap tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-table\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-table-wrapper\"\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth class=\"measure-name\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth class=\"measure-name\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth class=\"measure-name\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr class=\"size size-2\"\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"size-cell\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-0\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-1\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-2\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr class=\"size size-3\"\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"size-cell\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-0\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-1\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-2\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr class=\"size size-4\"\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"size-cell\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-0\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-1\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-2\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr class=\"size size-5\"\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"size-cell\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-0\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-1\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-2\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr class=\"size size-6\"\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"size-cell\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-0\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-1\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-2\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr class=\"size size-38\"\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"size-cell\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-0\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-1\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd class=\"measure-cell measure-cell-2\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMore From Off The Rails\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFind more funny tees and hoodies: \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/all\"\u003eshop all designs\u003c\/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/funny-t-shirts\"\u003efunny t-shirts\u003c\/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/funny-hoodies\"\u003efunny hoodies\u003c\/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/women\"\u003ewomens tees\u003c\/a\u003e, and \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/men\"\u003emens tees\u003c\/a\u003e. Read our guides: \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/best-funny-dad-shirts-a-guide-to-unhinged-gifts-that-wont-get-you-disowned\"\u003ebest funny dad shirts\u003c\/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/funny-t-shirt-gifts-for-husband-15-hilarious-tees-hell-actually-wear\"\u003efunny tees for husband\u003c\/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/funny-introvert-t-shirts-12-antisocial-tees-for-people-who-hate-plans\"\u003eintrovert tees\u003c\/a\u003e, and \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/funny-holiday-t-shirt-gift-guide-15-hilarious-tees-for-christmas-2026\"\u003eholiday gift guide\u003c\/a\u003e. Need help? \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/about-off-the-rails-clothing-funny-graphic-tees-hoodies\"\u003eAbout us\u003c\/a\u003e or \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/contact\"\u003econtact us\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Spreadconnect","offers":[{"title":"white \/ S","offer_id":53217253458214,"sku":"1070570671-P347A1S2","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ M","offer_id":53217253490982,"sku":"1070570671-P347A1S3","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ L","offer_id":53217253523750,"sku":"1070570671-P347A1S4","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ XL","offer_id":53217253556518,"sku":"1070570671-P347A1S5","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ 2XL","offer_id":53217253589286,"sku":"1070570671-P347A1S6","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ 3XL","offer_id":53217253622054,"sku":"1070570671-P347A1S38","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7190\/3270\/files\/1_ccec2319-8143-4d82-8a3b-1dc25bcca689.png?v=1778962370","url":"https:\/\/offtherailsclothing.com\/products\/buy-a-man-eat-fish-womens-tee-absurdist-confucius-parody","provider":"Off The Rails Clothing","version":"1.0","type":"link"}